Things I rarely talk about how i feel.

I have been very distant from some of my friends recently, keeping my problems to myself to the extent that it hurts and affects me. I don’t receive much comfort regarding my mindset since it has been distant, a condition that has persisted for the past few weeks. So, it has a lot to do not only with my past but also with the distant mindset that emerged when I tried to understand how to receive love and care, something I still can't comprehend. Everything about the past is significant because I have never understood how to receive or accept it. Since part of my depression remains in the past, and I no longer live there, though I have mentioned aspects directly from the past that still affect me. I have carried a lot of hate in my heart to the point that it brought me to my lowest. Additionally, my other problems include mental health issues since I suffer from severe burnout and am mentally and physically drained to the point of experiencing effects. The school has been affecting me lately due to the stress I have been experiencing, and it gets to the point where I hide my problems by just smiling, deeply knowing that I have been feeling like an absolute mess, which I can’t keep dealing with day and night. Texting people overwhelms me, and I get exhausted from texting during times when I'm stressed because I don’t receive much comfort from people. It has come to the point of keeping my problems to myself and dealing with them inside my head as a constant reminder that it hurts me deeply. Crying is nice, but I just wish I was comforted about my problems since I’ve been procrastinating too much recently, as I have not been able to get things done due to my procrastination. Please read this; I’m very exhausted from being distant from my mutuals and friends. Thank you for reading this and understanding.